Dear Angel
by NowakiStar
Summary: Sequel to Shadow of the Day. Please don't kill me for doing more Songfics. T for naughty words; no happy ending between Misaki and Usami; series of songfics...
1. Dear Angel

_**Woo! This is the real sequel to Shadow of the Day. (If you haven't read, it probably won't make sense.) Thanks to everyone reading. It means a lot. (I never thought a series of songfics would get soo popular…)**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Junjou Romantica. Although I do have Season 1 preordered for when it comes out May 4. I'm counting the days!**

**Dear Angel by April Sixth.**

--

"_Dear Angel of mine, where do I start to express how I feel?_

_Well, my love's gone blind. _

_Now all that I feel is what I hear. _

_Your words rip and tear, and through my heart so weak and pure._

_Now, I find myself wanting to die."_

--

Akihiko sat alone in front of his computer. He had been sitting there for an hour, trying to think. Writing had always been an outlet for him. Now, he was suffering a writer's block. Just like the last time Misaki left, he couldn't think of what else to type.

"Sensei!" someone began screaming at him from the doorway. Aikawa stopped when she saw his sad expression. It had been a week since he'd last seen Misaki. He wanted to go back, he really did. But Misaki didn't need Akihiko ruining his life anymore. If he said they couldn't be together… Well, Akihiko would stay away.

If only he could be the most important person to him again. Maybe things would work out.

If only Misaki would let him back in…

--

"_As I sit here alone thinking about everything that you said._

_You know since I'm alone. _

_Well, maybe after all, I was better off dead. _

_Cause without you, my life's gone down... _

_What do I do, when I find myself wanting to die?"_

--

"I'm sorry, I can't finish this," he said, looking up at her. Aikawa give him a forced smile and gave him a light hug.

"I know this must be tough, but you have to keep writing." She said. The deadline was coming up soon. If it wasn't finished, the publishing company would lose a lot of money. She'd write the damn ending herself if she had to.

Usami didn't speak. He couldn't convey what he was feeling in words. He didn't have a purpose anymore. There was no reason to live. Without Misaki, he was nothing.

And without Misaki, he didn't know if he wanted to keep going.

--

"_I bleed for the second time tonight holding the love that's in my mind._

_If only my love could be with you. _

_If only this pain…"_

--

**I know it's not a very good beginning. And I promise Akihiko isn't going to kill himself. (Although that'd be fun to write, I don't wanna see him go. I love Usagi!) Anyway, thanks for reading. Review? **


	2. Hey Love

_Chapter 2. Holy shiz! It's 5 pages long. That's a new songfic record!_

**Hey Love by 12 Stones.**

--

"_Looking back on everything I've done._

_I never thought I'd find the one…_

_To share the dreams that only I had seen..._

_Locked in the deepest part of me."_

--

Misaki felt horrible. He couldn't bare being away from Akihiko for so long. But he had to keep moving on. For Takahiro.

_Besides things were already over,_ he told himself. He'd completely shut Akihiko out of his life. Now he had to get up, find a job and live life.

Even if all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and cry.

--

He got a job a few days later at a small diner. The pay wasn't the best but he could afford his apartment. Besides, he was a good cook.

Not to mention he'd met a new friend there. A very cute, Akihiko-ish looking friend. And within a few months, they'd become very close.

--

"Hey, Misaki!" Shiki, the owner's son and full-time waiter, said steeping into the kitchen.

"Hi," he said, smiling at his friend. It was a slow day and neither had much to do.

"You know, Wednesdays are always the slowest. You wanna close up for awhile and just hang out?" he asked.

"No, it's probably not a good idea," Misaki said. He took work very seriously. It was a good escape from thinking.

"Oh," the boy sounded a little disappointed. But he quickly smiled and said, "Then how about you lose the hair-net and we had can hang out in the dining room until someone shows up?"

"I guess that wouldn't be too bad," Misaki said, not wanting to disappoint him again. He pulled off the annoying hair piece and followed Shiki to the dining room. They sat in the front, listening to the slow music the speakers played above them.

Shiki had just recently started at the university. He was going to the same one Misaki had, so they had a little in common. Mostly they chatted about Kamijou the devil. Misaki had only met him once outside of school with Usami. And he'd been with another guy. A really tall, good-looking guy who'd been watching him with moony eyes the whole time. It didn't take much brain power to realize they were going out. Plus it explained the limp Kamijou usually had. Of course he'd never told anyone about this, expect Shiki. He'd been fine letting everyone believe he rumors about him getting his knee busted in a yakuza gang fight, which only Kamijou had survived. Besides, Misaki himself half believed the stories. Mainly because they explained his wicked, deadly aim.

But today something was different. Shiki wasn't acting himself. He kept fidgeting and glancing at his dorky SpongeBob wristwatch.

"Shiki, what's wrong?" Misaki asked, holding the boys shoulders as if to shake him, "You look like you're awaiting your death or something."

He blinked at Misaki. _He was actually kind of cute,_ Misaki thought.

_No,_ he yelled at himself. He couldn't think of someone else that way. It just wasn't right.

"I just… It's stupid, forget it."

"Come on, you can tell me anything," Misaki said, giving him a comforting smile.

"It's just… I have this friend, okay?"

Misaki nodded to show he understood what Shiki meant. What he was going to tell him most be very personal, or embarrassing.

"Anyway, he likes this person. A lot. But it's really complicated because the person he likes is another guy. And he's really confused by it. But he still likes this guy. And he's afraid of being rejected by him, because he can't imagine he feels the same way."

Misaki smiled. So, Shiki's having _those_ kinds of problems?

"Well," Misaki started, "The way I see it, love is love. I mean, no one can chose who they fall in love with, right?"

Shiki nodded, "And what about the other guy?"

"Well, he must be a very good person to have gained your… I mean, your friend's love. And if he rejects your friend, then maybe he wasn't worth it to begin with."

"So, you're saying he should try asking him out?"

"You'll never know unless you try,"

"Okay, well…" Shiki took a breath, "Will you go out with me?"

Misaki blinked in surprise. Shiki liked him?!

"Well… I just… I can't… I'm not…" he searched for something to say that didn't sound totally horrible. It wasn't that he didn't like Shiki; he just wasn't sure how he felt about Akihiko. He tried not to think about him, but he knew he still loved him.

Shiki looked down at his feet, knowing he'd been rejected. Misaki couldn't stand the sad expression on his face. It wasn't right for him to be so selfish, not if it made Shiki upset.

"It's not you, Shiki. I was just dumped… Well, actually I dumped him but it still isn't easy for me. I need some time."

Shiki nodded, "Yeah, I guess I need time too. I always thought I'd grow up and have a family and stuff. I never thought I'd see the day when I was asking another guy out." He gave a short nervous laugh. Then his head snapped up as a customer walked in and took a seat nearby. They both looked at each other before quickly retuning to work.

--

"_Thinking back on everything we've done._

_We watched the waves drown the sun._

_We shared a dream that both of us had seen,_

_We made it our reality."_

--

Misaki dreamed about Usami that night. He realized he could hide anymore. And he couldn't help if he was starting to think of Shiki that way too.

He couldn't stop being himself.

But Usami… He still loved him.

But hadn't Akihiko once told him, he couldn't stop loving Takahiro? You could never really forget that type of thing. It would always be there.

But that didn't mean Misaki couldn't let Shiki in. In fact, what he really wanted was to see him as soon as possible.

He wanted to let someone in.

--

"_I took a chance to lay it on the line._

_There was nothing left to hide behind._

_If you never love then you may never lose._

_And I hope I'll always be with you."_

--

Misaki walked into the diner early, a smile on his face. He found Shiki in the front, cleaning counters.

"Hey, Misaki!" he said in his usual friendly voice. But Misaki could tell he was a little anxious

"Hi, Shiki," he said, equally nervous. "Well, I was thinking last night… And well, I think I want to try loving you."

The look on Shiki's face was priceless. Misaki couldn't believe his words could make Shiki so happy. He hadn't even said he loved him. He'd said he'd try to. And yet, Shiki looked as if he'd won the yaoi lottery. Maybe he had.

But also, deep down, Misaki felt like he wanted to see that face more often.

_Wish me luck, Niichan,_ he thought as the smaller boy stood up on his tippy-toes to hug him.

--

"_Now I'm screaming:_

_Hey love, won't you lean your touch_

_On this heart that's broken?_

_I can't breathe when you're not here._

_Hey love, won't you left me up_

_On the wings that fly higher_

_Than the stars that shine above?_

_If darkness should fall upon our hearts,_

_Remember the dreams from the start."_

--

**Not too bad, right?**

**Ha-ha. Misaki found a new one pretty fast! But I can see him not wanting to disappoint anyone…**

**Poor Akihiko.**


	3. Scars

_No, I did not forget about Fanfiction. I promise, I'm not abandoning anything. My life's just become very complicated lately. _

_--_

_**Scars by Papa Roach.**_

_**--**_

"_I tear myself open._

_I sew myself shut._

_My weakness is that I care too much._

_And my scars remind me_

_That the past is real._

_I tear my heart open_

_Just to feel."_

_--_

Akihiko glared at the mirror in front of him. He wondered where Misaki was. Or what he was doing. He'd called Takahiro earlier that day, hoping to hear something about him. Takahiro said that he'd been hanging out with a friend from work a lot.

He wouldn't admit it to himself, but he was jealous.

But, Misaki wouldn't just replace him. How could he? He'd rejected Haruhiko because he loved Akihiko, right? There was no way he'd moved on.

'He's happy, right?' he'd asked.

'Yeah, but he was pretty sad for awhile. I guess he's just getting used to the real world.'

Misaki was happy. That was all that mattered. Usami wouldn't step in and ruin his life just because he couldn't get over it.

--

"_And I tried to grab your hand._

_I left my heart open _

_but you didn't understand."_

"_I gotta move on with my own life…"_

_--_

**I promise the next one will be longer. This song was harder than I thought it'd be.**

**Next one: Everlong.**


	4. With You

_I know it's been awhile but I'm back. A lot of stuff has been happening in my life and I hope you can understand. _

_**With You **__by __**Linkin Park. ((I'm a MAJOR Linkin Park fan. Those guys have gotten me through so much. I'd even be a groupie for them, even though their like… 30? Lol))**_

"_Even if you're not with me, I'm with you. You, now I see keeping everything inside. You, now I see even when I close my eyes."_

Akihiko's life was slowly falling apart. He was on the edge of fully breaking down. Misaki was the only one he'd ever really let in, and he was gone now.

He closed his laptop slowly, still nothing on his mind. His eyelids drifted down, and again he was tortured by memories of Misaki. What was his muse doing right now? Was he with this new guy Takahiro had mentioned?

"_Even though you're so close to me, you're still so distant and I can't bring you back."_

Misaki was everything to him. And even now, only a few minutes' drive away, he was still just close enough. But Usami couldn't do anything about that. He couldn't see him, it'd only break his heart more. He couldn't make things right, Misaki had practically chosen Takahiro over him.

But what he hated most was not being able to touch him. Being with the one you loved was something special. Akihiko would never forget it. It'd haunt him forever.

Did Misaki feel the same? Did he miss being in Usami's arms as much as Usami missed holding him? Would he answer his phone if Akihiko called him tonight?

"_Even if you're not with me I'm with you."_

Akihiko couldn't let go of Misaki. He just wouldn't. It didn't matter if they weren't together, he was still holding onto Akihiko's heart.

**Well, another short chapter. And for that I apologize. But, to give you all more hope, I've thought up my Bonus chapter for this. And it'll be posted after the last chapter… **

**By the way, sorry I lied before. I couldn't write one for Everlong. Not enough… I don't know, useful lyrics?**


	5. All Over You

_Finally back to Misaki!_

_((Also sorry I haven't been able to update. Apparently you can get shingles in High School. And it isn't fun. At all.))_

_**All Over You by Spill Canvas.**_

"_Yeah he's a looker, _

_But I really think its guts that matter most."_

Misaki walked Shiki home. He'd been doing that a lot lately. He'd even stopped thinking about Akihiko… Well, until Shiki started asking about sex. But it was hard not thinking of Usami when that topic came up. And who could blame him?

"Hey, Misaki, are you ah… doing anything tomorrow night?" Shiki asked, staring down at his shoes.

"No," he answered honestly, though he feared what Shiki'd say next.

"Well, I was just wondering… There's this movie out that I kind of wanted to see and I was just thinking maybe we could…"

"What's the movie?" Misaki asked curtly. He was slowly becoming a little less embarrassed about being gay but talking about it in the open was sort of weird.

"Date night," Shiki answered ironically.

"Oh, okay." Misaki said, trying to remember if he'd seen the trailer or not.

"So, you'll go with me?" Shiki asked excitedly.

"Yeah,"

"_You could cure me._

_See all you have to do now is try._

_Give it your best shot and try._

_All I'm asking for is love._

_But you never seem to have enough."_

The movie turned out to be even funnier than the trailers seemed. As they ride back to Misaki's apartment in the subway, they laughed and quoted the movie. This eventually got them some weird looks but then again telling your partner to 'zip his vagina' was bound to get some stares. *

"Kill shot!" Shiki laughed as they left the subway car. Misaki laughed with him for awhile before realizing that Shiki was following him home. It wasn't like he wanted to get rid of him, it just seemed a little too soon for Shiki to come to his apartment.

"Um, isn't it getting late? Shouldn't you be getting home?" Misaki felt sort of like a jerk asking. But he wasn't sure he was ready to take Shiki home with him.

"Yeah, I guess. But I figured since it was our first date, it should be special." Shiki said, shrugging it off.

Misaki only winced, "What do you mean by special?"

"Like, since you were such a good cook you could make me something. Or, I don't know, we could sit up talking. My friends and I used to do that all the time."

Misaki almost breathed a sigh of relief. Until Shiki said,

"And you know, neither of us has work tomorrow so I could probably stay over tonight…"

"I don't know, Shiki. I was thinking of going somewhere tomorrow so it really isn't a good idea."

"You're a really bad lair." Misaki looked up. Shiki was frowning and looking at the pavement, "If you don't want me, you could at least say so."

"It's not that…"

"Really? Then what is it?" Shiki glared up at him.

"I told you before, I still don't know how I feel about this."

"Why? Why am I not good enough?" Those words and Shiki's heartbroken expression were enough to make Misaki believe, if only for a second, that maybe he could move on.

"I… Okay, you can stay." Misaki said, hoping that would be enough to patch up their little argument. It seemed to be, Shiki smiled again and continued following Misaki home.

He promised himself that his relationship with Shiki wouldn't be the same as his with Akihiko. He would try to keep Shiki happy, and maybe Shiki could heal his broken heart. Wasn't that way he'd agreed to go out with him? To somehow move on with his life?

Yes, that was it. Usami was gone forever, but as long as he had Shiki, things might be okay.

"_I gotta feel you in my bones again._

_I'm _all _over you._

_I'm _not _over you._

_I wanna taste you one more time again._

_I'm all over you._

_I'm not over."_

**Well, I really wasn't sure how to end it. Hopefully it didn't totally fail… **

**Anyway, Misaki's gonna be a little more Seme-ish in the next, I promise. **


	6. Dear Agony

_Well, I've gotten some great reviews. Thanks to everyone! And hey, I'm sorry the updates aren't perfect. Just when I think I have everything sorted out, it all backfires. _

_**Dedicated to:**__ one of my best friends, L. Her Fanfiction is __**EscapingMyImagination**__. If you like the Joker & dark humor check her out!_

_**Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin.**_

"_Dear Agony,_

_Just let go of me._

_Suffer slowly,_

_Is this the way it's got to be?_

_Dear Agony…"_

Misaki was giving up.

He was in love with Akihiko; and deep down, he knew that wouldn't change.

But then… he was almost starting to fall for Shiki.

It wasn't his fault he was being disloyal to Usami; Shiki was adorable. And funny. And it was almost like looking in a mirror at himself a couple years back. Besides, he wasn't really being disloyal. He hadn't heard from Usagi in months.

But this time, things weren't going to be the same. Misaki was sure about that. Neither of them was being 'forceful' with the other. And they hadn't done more than just kiss deeply. Misaki was in no hurry for that type of relationship. And that was probably for the best.

"_I have nothing left to give._

_I have found the perfect end._

_You remain to make it hurt."_

Misaki's eyes fluttered open. _'Just a dream,'_ he told himself, breathing deeply for a moment and waiting for his heart to stop racing.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry to wake you up." He said, grinning at the figure beside him.

"It's okay." Shiki said, yawning loudly, "Have a bad dream?"

"No… Well, I guess."

"What happened?"

"Ah," Misaki hesitated, not waiting to tell Shiki he'd dreamt about Akihiko. _Again._ "It was nothing. Just a sad memory."

"Oh," There was a short pause, "Is there anything I can do?"

"No… Just hold me for awhile, okay?" Misaki had to admit it sounded pretty lame, but at the moment that's all he wanted.

"_Carry me to heaven's arms._

_Light the way,_

_Let me go._

_Take the time to take my breath._

_I will end where I began."_

Maybe, just maybe, he could get over Usami Akihiko. It would take some time but, luckily, he had Shiki there to help him through it.

**Well? Better then that last one, right? Anyway, next chapter is called Gone Forever. **

**See ya next time!**


	7. Gone Forever

_Again __**dedicated **__to EscapingMyImagination because she's one of my best friends and in my creative writing club. And if someone in the club gets upset, nothing gets written. And if nothing gets written, we wait another year before finishing the play. And if we do that, I throw mini-Hiroki-ish tantrum. :)_

_**Gone Forever by Three Days Grace**_

"_Don't know what's going on._

_Don't know what went wrong._

_Feels like a hundred years._

_I still can't believe you're gone._

_So I'll stay up all night,_

_With these blood-shot_

_While these walls surround me with the story of our life."_

"Misaki is gone." The thought had recently sunk in.

But Akihiko was done crying over it. The fact was, he still had writing. And it had always been such a forgiving outlet. His muse would never abandon him for the sake of its brother. It would never slam a door in his face. And it would never leave him alone.

So, he went back to writing. Stuck in the same savage world he'd been in before Misaki.

"_I feel so much better_

_Now that you're gone forever._

_I tell myself that_

_I don't miss you at all._

_I'm not lying."_

Sure, he could always tell himself that things, that he was perfectly alright. He'd been able to live without Misaki before, he could do it now. Sure, it was fine.

Inside, he was simply trying not to think about it.

He was letting himself get lost in the same old dreams again. Forcing himself to type down everything. And avoiding the old BL series like the plague.

But he couldn't hide from it forever. The series, as Aikawa liked to remind him, was still on-going…

"_I hope you're missing me."_

It was wrong, but he couldn't help hoping Misaki was miserable without him. And at the same time, he wished Misaki well. He couldn't stand the thought of Misaki depressed, yet he didn't want to imagine him happy either.

Was he messed up, or what?

**Finally, a decent Usami chapter! And thanks to everyone for the lovely reviews. (And of course to Miyayu for often making me smile.) I should probably apologize for taking so long to write these. Because of the move, it's been harder to find time to write. Lucky, we should be done by next week. (I feel like Hiroki, having so many books to find space for. haha)**


	8. Feels Like Tonight

_Well, only two more weeks of school! I'm happy, though I have no idea what I'm going to do this summer. I'll write lots though. :)_

_**Feels Like Tonight by Chris Daughtry**_

"_You, you got me thinking it'll be alright._

_You, you told me, 'Come and take a look inside'_

_You've believed me, every single lie!_

_But I, I failed you this time."_

Misaki smiled when he saw Shiki pass by the small diner's window. But of course, he forced it back down. How could Misaki get so excited just by the sight of him? It wasn't like he was falling in love. No, there was no way he was.

But then again, Shiki was never far from his mind anymore. He found himself thinking of Usagi less and less. The writer hardly crossed his mind.

"Hey, Misaki!" Shiki said happily, rushing up to him, "Guess what? I got a 94% on my French final!"

"That's great," Misaki couldn't help ruffling his hair, the same way Usagi used to touch him.

They both smiled slightly, before Misaki went back to cleaning tables.

"My shift will be over in a few minutes. Do you have plans for this weekend?"

"Not really… You want to do something?"

Misaki blushed. He did, but he was almost afraid to ask. Then again, Shiki was always asking him out. It was about time he did the same. So, after a short hesitation, he finally asked, "Well, I was just wondering if you'd want to stay with me this weekend. You know, since you're finals are over I thought we should celebrate."

He didn't have to turn to see that Shiki was grinning like an idiot.

"_I was waiting_

_For the day you'd come around._

_I was chasing,_

_But nothing was all I found."_

They went back to Misaki's apartment. Misaki, not exactly sure what he was supposed to do, awkward sat down and turned on the TV like he normally would.

Shiki cuddled up beside him. After a moment, he yawned, very fake-y, and leaned on Misaki. He again had to hide a smile, not liking the fluttery feelings Shiki gave him. But they were still there, along with the crazy desire to kiss him.

He suppressed that one, though he did allow himself to pull Shiki closer. Shiki tilted his head toward Misaki's, but he was looking away. He knew he'd blush if they locked eyes.

But Shiki was done playing tired. He was far too anxious for that. He could sense that something was different with Misaki. This could be his chance to finally get Misaki to open up.

Misaki could feel Shiki's eyes watching him. There was no avoiding it anymore; he met the younger boy's eyes evenly. The world seemed to go blank around them. Suddenly nothing seemed more important than the boy leaning against him. For an instant, Misaki suddenly understood how Akihiko must have felt every time they were together. But Usami wasn't the type to deny himself any pleasure.

Neither of them said anything, but a silent understanding passed between them. Misaki leant forward and pressed his lips to Shiki's gently.

They kissed for a few seconds before Misaki pulled back. To his own amazement, he wasn't blushing. He'd enjoyed kissing Shiki, why should he be embarrassed?

"_It never felt like this before._

_Just when I leave, I'm back for more._

_Nothing else just seems to matter._

_And in these ever changing days,_

_You're the one thing that remains._

_I could stay like this forever."_

**Well, here we are. Close to the end. Many thanks to everyone (including Chey, who's been very kind even when I myself feel I could have done better) who comments/reviews.  
Though this is close to over, I have my last chapter planned out. And it's a song I doubt most of you will recognize. :) Let's just say, **_**"J'aime le Jena Lee musique."**_** (And I'm hoping to score higher than Shiki on my final Monday!)**


	9. First Time

_Well, I will apologize for the lateness. My muse has been missing all week and so I haven't been able to write anything really._

_Another thing that's been holding me back, my parodies may soon become an abridged series and I've been searching for JR without subs for awhile. I even had Nikki, "my slave", looking. So far nothing._

_**Warning: Yaoi. (It's vague, since I myself am not a smut-writer. And because it's Shiki, and no one really likes him. lol)**_

_**First time by Lifehouse **_

-/-

"_We're both looking for something,_

_We been afraid to find._

_It's easier to be broken,_

_It's easier to hide."_

-/-

Well, it shouldn't have been a surprise. They'd been dating for months. It was normal to… Want new things.

Not to mention, he was Shiki's first boyfriend. Although he'd had… experience beforehand. So, naturally, it was expected that he make the first move. But Misaki never would have imagined Shiki would be the one trying to seduce him.

He was the one who'd been holding himself back throughout the past month. And here was Shiki, practically feeling him up_ on the freaking subway! Great_, Misaki thought, _I have another Usagi on my hands. _

But Shiki wasn't like Akihiko. He didn't want to dominate Misaki. The very opposite, he wanted nothing more than to be dominated. And he wanted Misaki to do it.

-/-

"_Looking at you,_

_Holding my breath._

_For once in my life,_

_I'm scared to death._

_I'm taking a chance_

_Letting you inside."_

-/-

"Hey, Misaki, how far have you gone before?" the question sounded innocent enough. And he wouldn't have thought much of it if Shiki hadn't laid his hand on Misaki's leg.

"Well, I've never left the country before." Misaki replied, smiling to himself.

"I didn't mean that! I meant like… You know," he made a small movement with his hand across a really personal area of Misaki's.

Misaki thought quickly, there really wasn't an escape from that question was there? But then, surely he'd mentioned it before. Hinted, possibly. Shiki wasn't getting insecure, was he?

"Well, let's just say, I've been there, done that."

"Have you ever thought about going there with me? Doing that?"

Misaki turned away, waiting for his typical blush. Yeah, he'd thought about it all right. Every once in a while, when Shiki spent the night. They'd been dating for a long time… It was normal to think like that.

"I'm not a kid, you know." The statement almost sounded like a challenge.

"I know,"

"Then why don't you stop treating me like one?"

Misaki turned back swiftly, and kissed Shiki so hard that he actually blushed and pushed him away.

"What? We're all alone; I thought that's what you wanted?"

"Well, yeah. But this still weird… We're in a subway! Anyone could just randomly wander in here!" sometimes, Shiki really did remind Misaki of himself.

"You're right. Come on, the next stop is ours..."

-/-

"_Maybe I'm wrong,_

_I'm feeling right._

_Here I'm alone_

_With you tonight."_

-/-**And since I probably can't get away with not doing it:**

"Mmm, Misaki,"

"Are you serious you want to do this?"

"Yeah,"

Misaki amazingly wasn't panicking. They'd made out tons of times, and Misaki had been on top. By now, it felt right. Besides, he'd picked up a lot of tips from Usami-san.

He ran his tongue over one of Shiki's already hard nipples. The boy squirmed a little bit, his face darkening… No wonder Usami had liked doing that to Misaki; the reaction he got was amazing.

He would have loved to play with Shiki a little more, but his own needs were started to catch up on him. He took a breath, thinking _'I just have to do exactly what Usagi-san always did.'_ It was better said than done.

Misaki slid a hand down Shiki's back, slowly willing himself to do what he had to do. He knew he was supposed to use his fingers first. But even that seemed a little awkward.

Then Shiki moved to make it easier for him, and he remembered that they both wanted this.

-/-

"_I'm feeling alive all over again."_

_-/-_

**Well, I guess I better apologize for my fail at smex up there. I was sorta afraid of hitting the border between T and M so, so I just cut it early. I promise not to do that with Usagi x Misaki toward the end.**

**BTW, if you're new and didn't realize this, I went back and added it. And apologizes to those using their cell phones or iPod's and had to look around for this chapter. **


	10. Give Me A Sign

_Well, I'm very sorry for how long this took to finish. It was very hard to find a song and to decide exactly where I was going with this. _

_**Give me a sign by Breaking Benjamin**_

"_I can feel you falling away._

_No longer the lost,_

_No longer the same._

_And I can see you starting to break."_

Misaki's life could almost be called perfect. He had a job he enjoyed, a cute boyfriend, whom he now lived with, and a good relationship with his brother, even though he thought of Shiki as a room-mate type thing. Not to mention his nephew was just starting pre-school, which Misaki picked him up from daily. Things were going really good. Yet, some days he just couldn't ignore the loneliness his heart still held.

No matter how great things seemed, the feeling never left him. It didn't fade over time as he thought it would. But being with someone else helped. Shiki was a good substitute but even he wouldn't always fill the gap in Misaki's heart.

Sometimes he asked about Usami. Takahiro didn't know much but when he did have information it was all good. Misaki knew that it couldn't be as perfect as Takahiro said. Akihiko was good at fooling people. Misaki would have to see him in person to be sure he was okay. But he couldn't risk that. He knew things would just get worse if he contacted him.

"_Does anybody care?_

_Is anybody there?_

_Take this life, empty inside_

_I'm already dead._

_I'll rise to fall again."_

Usami Akihiko seemed just as cold and distant as he had when he first started writing. The stories had the familiar sad outlook on life. But that was_ his_ style wasn't it? Usami knew how cruel the world was. And anyone who thought otherwise was either a Disney-movie-writer or were fooled into believing that 'happy-ending' bull.

But as long as he was around people, he kept up a neutral calm expression. He knew how the world worked, and he could always reveal it in his books. But normal people, the ones who came to hear him speak, weren't interested in that. They wanted to see him as the same handsome writer they believed him to be. And he could fool all of them. All of them, except Misaki.

And except Sumi, but he was avoided greatly. Especially since Akihiko was single again.

"_Give me a sign._

_There's something buried in the words."_

Both of them were just waiting for a sign from the other.

But it wasn't coming.

-/-

**Well, until the next chapter… (Which will be added right after this.)**

**Review, it makes me smile. ;)**


	11. I'd Love To

_Well, I seriously will miss writing these…  
Okay, fine. Maybe I can't do this. There's gonna be a few chapters after this!_

_**J'aimerais tellement (I'd love to) by Jena Lee.**_

_**Apologies: For any translation mistakes.**_

**-Years later, Sometime after Iris in the first story.**

"_It's only one tear, just a reminder of the past._

_From which I move away, but who do not cease haunting me._

_It's only one blade that notches my thoughts._

_I find my heart; your glance gives me desire for advancing."_

I'd only seen him once before. But it'd only been in passing. And he hadn't seen me.

Now, he was staring right at me. Our eyes met and I found myself stepping closer. There was so much I wanted to say, but the words didn't come out. And in the seconds it took for me to reach him, everything I'd dreamed of saying just disappeared.

"Usagi," he said quietly, one hand instinctively reaching out to me. He stopped himself, a little of the old shyness still there. I couldn't help leaning forward and brushing our lips together briefly. There was none of the old brush that I loved. But there was a certain look in his eyes that I just wanted to get lost in.

"_I'd love to tell you what my heart wants_

_But I don't have any more words._

_I'd love to tell you that I'm not afraid anymore_

_But these words sound false._

_Once again, I start over._

_Baby, forgive me if I take a wrong step._

_You know, I'd love to tell you what my heart wants_

_But I don't have any more words."_

Seeing Akihiko again was a real surprise. But then, we did live in the same city so it was bound to happen a couple times.

I was almost lost for words. Then he kissed me softly and something just clicked. Usagi, my Usagi, was standing right in front of me.

"Usagi…" I wasn't quite sure what to say but somehow I ended up with, "Wow, you're not dead."

"What?"

"Well, you've been living alone… I imagined you'd be skinnier or something. Unless you hired someone to cook for you, but you don't really like people. I guess, maybe you aren't too bad. And it's not like you didn't ever survive without me before…" I sort of babbled.

He laughed and brushed a lock of hair from my face. "Yes, I'm still alive."

"Ah, I read your last book." Well, I was sure he'd written others since then but he'd know what I was talking about. The last one about us. The one where he mentioned seeing me again.

He nodded and I could almost see in his eyes that it had been pure torture, knowing I was happy with someone else. Then he broke the silence, "What's his name?"

"Shiki,"

"Isn't that a flower?" I could help laughing. It was true. The character _ki_ was a plant with white and pink flowers. * "So, are you happy?" he asked seriously.

"Yes," it was hard to admit. But I was fine without him. I was happy with Shiki. Yet, somehow, I still loved Usami-san. "Well, what about you?" I had read his last book and there had been something very sad about it. He wasn't fine, I could tell.

"I'm okay," he refused to meet my eyes while he said it. But I didn't challenge him. Surely he knew by now that he couldn't fool me.

"Um… There's a Starbucks down the street. We could stop there and talk for awhile if you're not busy?"

"I actually have a meeting to go to. Aikawa will kill me if I don't show. Maybe some other time?"

We agreed to meet the next week. Afterward I watched one of the most important people in my life walk away. There was nothing I could do but wait until I saw him again. Hopefully, the week would pass quickly.

"_My dreams fade, only time can help me._

_But when you leave, I want to see you remain."_

I ended up teeling Shiki about meeting Usami again. It wasn't a secret that I'd dated before. And Akihiko was a favorite author of his, even if he hadn't discovered his BL series yet.

The only problem: Shiki wanted to meet him too.

"_Wait for me, I'll find the words._

_I beg you, I beg you only for time."_

**Well, this is continuing. As you can see it's going to have both of them in it. Yay! **

**Review, because even I get stuck on things.**


	12. Time Of Your Life

_Okay, well this was difficult to write. Finding a song… Worse. (("Well, 'take my hand' is uber gay. So I'll just use it." Were seriously my thoughts as I went through my iPod though after listening realized it would have been better as a Misaki x Shiki hook up song… I may go back and add that…))_

_**Time of your life by Green day**_

"_So make the best of this test,_

_And don't ask why._

_It's not a question,_

_But a lesson learned in time."_

Okay, so meeting Usami again was harder than I'd thought. That morning, I debated going about fifty times. Seeing him is a bad idea, something said. But I also really wanted to. And it wouldn't hurt if Shiki came. I knew Usami would be nice to him, at least. And it would keep me from getting too 'distracted.'

"Okay, you ready to go?" Shiki asked, not bothering to knock on the bathroom door before opening it.

I glared up at him, a great deal of shaving cream still on my chin. * All well, could have been worse.

"In a minute," I answered, ignoring his comment about wanting to be early to meet the 'great Lord Usami.' Poor kid, he'd probably be just as disappointed as I had been. Only I'd make sure Shiki didn't find any of Usami's smut. (And luckily Shiki didn't have a brother, so if he did find it wouldn't be too mentally scarring.)

We left about ten minutes later. It wasn't a really long walk to Starbucks, nor to the subway station I took to work. But Shiki was still anxious. He kept walking ahead, before stopping and waiting for me. I ended up taking his hand and forcing him to join my casual pace. It wasn't like Usami was waiting for us or anything. He was probably still asleep and would be about a half hour late. I probably should have called Aikawa and had her give him a wakeup call.

"So, what's he like?" Shiki asked, for the one millionth time. I couldn't help but notice him nervously playing with a strand of hair. * It was adorable… Maybe I shouldn't be taking him to meet Akihiko.

"He's… anti-social. So, don't get your hopes up."

"_Tattoo's of memories,_

_And dead skin on trail._

_For what it's worth,_

_It was worth all the while."_

Usami growled at his alarm clock. He hated the stupid thing. But he no longer had his Misaki to wake him up every morning. So, it was necessary.

He yawned and thought about going back to sleep. But then remembered he was meeting Misaki again. And even though it would kill him to see Misaki getting on well without him (And the fact that Misaki still had prefect skin), it would also kill him to miss this chance. It was almost like Usami was addicted…

-Scene Change: Because honestly, who wants to read about Usami changing clothes and getting into his car?

Usami ended up getting there early. He wanted this meeting more than he'd openly admit. The whole thing would tear him apart and leave him in pieces. But if he could just be with Misaki, if only for a moment, he could almost pretend things were back to the why they'd always been. He could pretend Misaki hadn't left him.

He stared at his watch for awhile; he was at least fifteen minutes early. But he couldn't help worrying. What if he didn't show up? What if he decided he didn't care about Usami, or he'd forgotten?

_This is stupid. You're the one who came early! Of course, you'll have to wait for a little while!_ He told him this, but still worried unreasonably. *

He sat up a little straighter when the familiar brunette went past the front window. Beside him was the younger boy Akihiko had seen with him before. He watched as Misaki opened the door for his look alike. And Shiki really did look like him. He'd thought it before but now, it was even more obvious. He couldn't help but smile, even though it was all probably just coincidence. Then Misaki looked up and they locked eyes. His heart practically leaped out of his chest.

Stupid thing, it'd give him away for sure.

"_It's something unpredictable,_

_But in the end is right._

_I hope you had the time of your life."_

Usagi still had the same effect on me. It was weird, but it just seemed like we had a connection. And it was a long moment before I realized I was gawking at him while still standing in the doorway. Hoping Shiki didn't notice, I forced myself to walk to the counter and order something. Shiki followed me, probably not sure how to approach Usagi without me.

I ordered tea, while Shiki got some dark chocolate and cherry frappuccino thing. * Then I sat down across from Usagi, while Shiki pulled up another chair.

"Hi," he said, watching Shiki suspiciously.

"Hi, Usagi. This is Shiki, my boyfriend."

"Hi! It's really cool to meet you." Shiki said, he most likely thought up tons of things to say by now. I only hoped he didn't attempt interrogation.

Usagi only nodded.

"So…" I started awkwardly, "Have you started writing anything new yet?"

"Aikawa's trying to get to do a new BL. But… well, you know."

"You write BL?" Shiki asked, lifting an eyebrow and glancing at me.

Usami smiled, as if seeing a perfect opportunity.

"No!" I said very loudly, "Usami Akihiko doesn't." It wasn't a lie, he wrote them under a pen name. And hopefully Usagi would take the hint and not try anything. I could almost remember the time he tried to keep another author any from me by having me deliver a bunch of his books to his house. Luckily I dropped the bag on the way there and saw what was inside… Which reminds me, he still owes me for that! *

Usagi smiled, as if he too remembered it, "Do you still have that locker?"

"No, I gave the 'collection' to Aikawa a long time ago."

"That explains a lot actually. I remember about a year after you left she bought in a ton of books for me to sign. I think she was selling them on E-bay."

We both laughed, Shiki only grinned. He had no clue what we were talking about but that was okay, he'd play along.

"How long has it been away?" I asked, without really thinking about it.

"Seven years, two months and a week exactly." Usami answered without even thinking about it.

Shiki and I both gawked. Well, he was romantic type after all.

Of course, then I accidently slipped, "You look really good for your age then."

I was currently 29, which meant in March he was going to be turning forty. *

"I'm not that old!"

"Sure you aren't. At least your hair finally matches your age." I teased.

"Ah huh, well when will your height ever match your age?"

"Hey, I'm not that short anymore."

"You haven't changed at all, Misaki."

"I have too."

"He's right, you are pretty short." Shiki said, teaming up against me.

We continued to tease each other for most of the meeting. And when I left them alone together, figuring Akihiko couldn't do too much damage in the few minutes it'd take me in the bathroom, I returned to find them discussing me. I don't know what all Usami told him, but they were getting along so I let them go for a little longer and took my time ordering another drink.

The two most important people in my life were getting along. That at least would get me through the rest of the week. Little did I know, things were only going to get more complicated.

**What? Did you expect Usami to let Misaki go that easily again? **

* Aw, our little Misaki is growing up!

* Because although I don't like Near from Death Note, I think how he plays with his hair is adorable. (Does that make me a pedo? lol)

* I was tempted to add 'what if he's sleeping with Haruhiko?' but then figured I'd leave that for my parody… Where it belongs. (And where I can add on a mini Haruhiko x Misaki make out scene and it'd all be normal. Lol)

* I am not ashamed to say I spent hours writing in Starbucks with my best friend. Anita always gets Awake tea, while I get the exotic stuff. Like the new dark chocolate cherry thing!

* Book 13 (I believe) which isn't out yet. :) And yes, upon reading it I did try to borrow a friend's BL (that HE still claims not to have) and put them in an ex-boyfriend's locker. Sadly then the friend reminded me that he'd probably just go into the bathroom with it. (I love Kyle, he's funny. Even though he also reminds me of Light from Death Note. lol)

* Usami and I actually have the same birthday. (He's an Aries, which explains a lot too)

**Well, review if you love my cliff-hangers. Or you could Review if you'd love to punch me in the face for it. :)**


	13. Helena or Heath?

_Well, I can honestly say that I know when my next chapter will be up. In one week, when I'm no longer staying with my cousins. And although I can't write anything slightly M in front of them (Like the next chapters that I have coming. One possibly Misaki x Usami. And then the one I skipped earlier. Misaki as a seme! Yay!) it really isn't too bad. My little 8 year old cousin watches FMA with me! It's adorable! He wants to crosplay as Envy! (Which figures cause I've always thought one day he'd be a crossdresser. Lol. And he keeps saying adorable things like "You gotta love Wrath. He's just so cute!" I love my family!)_

_**Helena by My Chemical Romance**_

-/-

"_Burning on,_

_Just like a match you strike to incinerate_

_The lives of everyone you knew,"_

About a week after we'd met a letter arrived frim Usami. I tried not to think anything of it. It was just an invite to a movie, not a date…

Then again, I knew he was really lonely. He probably just wanted to be around someone but he was anti-social, Takahiro was busy and Kamijou was… Well, Kamijou; he probably didn't have anyone else to hang out with. So, going to see a stupid movie with him wasn't really a big deal. It was just male-bonding. Then again… Usami's idea of male-bonding was a little off…

So, I told Shiki I was going out and left.

-/-

"_Can we pretend?_

_To leave and then,_

_We'll meet again._

_When both our cars collide."_

-Akihiko POV:

"So, I see you didn't bring the new boyfriend," I said with a small smile.

"No, should I have?" he asked, grinning back. It was hard to keep from dragging him back to my car and... Yes, the thought was tempting. Very tempting.

"Um… So, what did you want to see?" Misaki asked, helping me to focus on something other than him.

I hadn't actually thought that far ahead. Well, I am good at improvising…

So, I picked the first movie that's poster I noticed. Which just happened o e some creepy teen movie. But Misaki just shrugged and bought his tickets. I knew this was not his type of movie, nor was it mine. But at least it would distract me from attacking him.

-/-

Misaki seemed to be truly scared by the movie. Within 15 minutes he was clinging to the armrests and sitting at the edge of his seat. I would have laughed, and almost did because I really wasn't paying attention to the screen, except I know he'd only yell at me and make a fuss. He looked terrified… There could be nothing wrong with "comforting" him, right? Yeah, comfort. That was a great way to put it.

I casually laid my hand over one of his in an attempt at "comforting" him. His eyes instantly flicked over to me. But he didn't look angry. Then the hand under mine flipped over and our fingers intertwined. Neither of us broke eye contact. And after what was only a few minutes or us, although it seemed to be many scenes later in the movie, Misaki actually pushed the armrest up so we could move closer. His lips brushed against mine in the dark, causing my heart to go crazy. Yeah, Misaki was my drug alright.

"_And what's the worst you take_

_From every heart you break?_

_And like a blade you'll stain._

_Well, I've been holding on tonight."_

-Misaki POV (Er, like 'intro thing' cause I can't go into details…)

I guess it wasn't really right to kiss Usami… At the time it just felt… Ugh, no!

It also probably wasn't the greatest idea to let him drive me home. I mean, it was Usagi-san. Getting into a car with him period is a bad idea!

But I did. And I don't regret it. Although, letting him pull over I will admit was a big mistake. And making out with him when I was supposed to be going home to my "current" boyfriend also not great.

But, I'm far from perfect. **((Misaki is not a Mary-Sue!))**

"_What's the worst thing I could say?_

_Things are better if I stay?_

_So long and good-night._

_So long and good night."_

"Misaki, I love you." He muttered, slowly untangling his hand from my hair.

I paused, but it wasn't for the same reason as I used to. Before I'd been afraid to admit it. Now, I couldn't. It would be a huge betrayal… But, it was also the truth…

"Yeah, love you too…"

"_We are the very hurt you sold."_

-/-

Well, that's it for now. Sorry that some of it was very 'lacking.' Again, little kids. The 8 year old mentioned above saw a certain picture he shouldn't have (It was Ed x Envy. As I mentioned, he likes FMA) but was luckily too young to understand. (Thank the powers that be!) So, to maintain the innocence here… Well, you're all getting double M-ish moments as soon as I'm gone so be happy.

**Review Responses: (wow, haven't done these in ages…) (Mainly those who commented last chapter. Sorry if I missed anyone!)**

**Miyuku-tan: **Oh, please don't punch my lil OC! Lol. And no, it doesn't have to mean 7 years without. He could be like Jack from Brokeback Mountian and go with hooker guys. :) Even though that really doesn't seem Usami's style…

**Miyayu: **Thank you for the many reviews! I secretly love to see that you've reviewed my work. And of course, thanks for the many cookies even after bad chapters. :)

**Seiyalovesodango09: **I'm very glad to have inspired you before! I cannot wait to see what you do with this! And I too am having a hard time with him and Shiki being together… I want Usami to be happy yet I myself cannot be happy without making him suffer. Does that even make sense? …All well, basically I promised a sad ending for them both and this chapter almost did end with Misaki ending up heart-broken and alone. (Hence the last line) But for some reason I gave him mercy. (It's his chibi's fault… He was just too cute to torture.)

**Junjou-Angel: **Thanks for another nice review! They always make me smile. :)

**Bloody Candy: **I'm glad you think it's realistic. I usually write dialogue how I myself would talk to somebody. Or how my friends and I get on together. And yeah, I find slight banter to be good when dealing with ex's. And no, I'm not so cleaver to put Shiki with Akihiko. (Actually, I'm just trying to stop myself from killing off Misaki. He's just not depressing enough anymore. Jk) Although now that I think about it… Usami could use some happiness right? Lol.

**Chey: **Sadly, I can't let that happen. If I put them back together it wouldn't be the sad ending I'd promised, right?

And as for killing someone off… If anyone it would be Takahiro. He's the cause of this whole mess! Lol. He shall now face my vengeance. :p But sorry, can't kill Shiki. He's gotta live on and date Takuma from Vampire Knight! Lol.

**And now everyone, I must go dance with my crazy little cousin to Queen music. Much love, Nowaki Star.**


	14. Lies

_Well… Many apologies for the long wait. I've had a lot of things happening lately, so please forgive me._

_New chapter 8 btw._

_This is __**Uso (Lies) by SID.**__ So far, this is the first J-rock song I've ever used in a songfic. It's also an ending song to the Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood. I don't listen to much J-rock, but after reading a translation of this I just loved it! So, please enjoy! (BTW anime translation might be different… I used multiple translations)_

-/-

"_The sky we saw that day, the crimson sky_

_Do you remember?_

_We made a promise,_

_Wrapped in the early summer breeze."_

-/-

Misaki was cuddled up to Usami-san in the back of his car. The author had long fallen asleep but Misaki couldn't help replaying what he'd just done.

He was the worst. The absolute worst.

Yet, looking down at the man whom he was currently using as a body pillow, he didn't quite regret it either.

If he was in love with Usami-san then this should have been fine. In fact, for the first time for years he felt alive… But then, what about Shiki? He was supposed to be loyal…

He couldn't force himself to decide between the two. He just couldn't… There was no going back to how things were. He didn't deserve to be with either of them.

He would just have to go home and explain what happened, and agree to never see Akihiko again. That was the right thing to do, wasn't it?

But Shiki would be heartbroken. What if he felt Misaki for good? Surely, he'd cry.

Running away… That sounded like a good idea. It appealed to him the most.

-/-

"_Now these feeling are unbelievably painful,_

_So it is goodbye for us."_

-/-

He knew it was cowardly to run away like that. And it would only be worse wouldn't it? He wouldn't be able to hide forever. And it wasn't like he could untangle himself without waking Usami-san.

Then the answer hit him. He would lie.

It was an easy out and it wasn't so bad. There was still time. He could say they'd gone back out to eat as well. Akihiko could let him shower at home…

Did he still think of the condo as home?

Misaki sighed and shook Usami a couple of times. "Usagi-san? Wake up!"

After a few minutes, and some rushed kissing, they were back in the front seats. Driving back to Akihiko's condo.

"I've really missed you, Misaki."

He couldn't answer. There was no way he could without revealing anything.

"Hey? Your face looks pale?" Usami said, tilting Misaki's face toward his. "What's up? There's no way you stayed clean with that guy. You've improved way too much; don't even try lying about it."

"Usagi-san, don't tease me."

Usami opened his mouth to say something then stopped. He turned back to the wheel, looking thoughtful.

"You're not having regrets, are you?" he asked after a long silence.

"How could I not regret any of that?"

"You said you loved me, didn't you? Ditch the kid."

"No!"

Akihiko slammed on the brakes, "Are you telling me that after all that, you're not going to leave him for me?" *

"I can't."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because, it's not right!"

"Misaki, get out of the car."

"What?" Misaki asked, shocked.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Car." Usami said, seriously.

"You've got to be kidding." Misaki said, "You can't just ditch me here."

"Misaki, please don't make me force you." This time his voice was a little sad. Though he was obviously trying hard to fool him, Misaki knew what he said was hurting him.

"What's wrong with you, idiot? Can't you at least take me home?"

"Misaki, I've waited so long. I told myself you were happy where you were, and yet part of me still pined for you. If you're just going to toy with me, I'd rather you just leave. This is just too cruel."

"Baka! I'm not playing with you! And it's your fault if you thought…"

Misaki was cut off by Akihiko's lips as they forcibly crushed into his. It was over within a moment, and before Misaki knew what was happening Usami was at his car door dragging him out. And by the time things registered, it was too late.

"Baka Usagi-san! Stop it!"

The car was soon out of sight and Misaki was left to walk ten blocks back to his apartment. Shiki had luckily fallen asleep waiting for him so he was able to clean himself up before carrying the boy back to bed.

-/-

"_The promise is broken_

_Vanished into the early summer wind._

_We can't go back to the way we were."_

-/-

The next morning, everything seemed normal. Shiki didn't suspect a thing, so Misaki didn't have to bother lying.

He knew what he'd done was horrible, but there was nothing he could do now. It was all said and done.

Weeks passed and there was no word from Usami-san. Misaki had no way of contacting him because his cell phone was always off. And after awhile Misaki just stopped calling. There wasn't anything he could do if the writer wouldn't talk to him. He'd come around, surely.

He didn't know what he hoped for the day the package came. It was addressed to him from Usami Akihiko. He hid it until Shiki went to work, and was anxious all day about it.

The letter said only three words: "We'll meet again." Inside was nothing more than an old T-shirt of his that he must have left behind that day, so many years ago. He could remember it perfectly. The rain was pouring and Usami wouldn't say a thing the whole drive down.

It seemed so simple, and yet it made him want to cry. Only later when he sniffed it and realized that Usami's scent was all over it, did he actually burst out in tears. *

But the letter gave him some hope.

-/-

"_Saying that we'd meet again,_

_We waved good-bye._

_But it seems we won't see each other again._

_The final lie was a kind one,_

_I won't forget."_

-/-

It's was months, maybe a year before it happened.

Aikawa showed up at his door, bringing him news that stopped his heart.

With her, she'd brought a last farewell. His final book.

Reading it a few times, he realized what Usami had done. He thought this would solve Misaki's problems, that it would be his escape… An easy way out. The thing Misaki'd been looking for that night.

"Damn fool." He muttered. He knew he was wrong. But he still didn't want to accept it. It was just too painful.

-/-

"_The sky we saw that day,_

_The crimson red sky._

_Hey, you'll remember it someday, right?_

_We cling onto a promise,_

_Neither of us can fulfill."_

-/-

**Well, take from it what you will. You have no idea how hard this was to write. In a way, I'm slightly proud of it. And yet, I feel like crying as well. I intended for the ending to be vague. It was less depressing for one thing and so that, those of you with a heart (Mine's been turned black, obviously) may come up with some other ending if you need to. Perhaps, he killed himself. Perhaps he just wrote about leaving Misaki for good. It's up to you. (Fantasy is always easier to accept than reality… And it is fan-fiction after all)**

**So, please don't hate me. Hey, how about I rework the mess of the second story in Lost In You (The alternate story… I really f*cked up the second version. And now that I think about it, it wouldn't be too hard to change.) It'll be a second alternate ending! Only, it'll be this one's other ending. **

***I wanted to add here: "Don't you realize how many fan-girls I have? Dump me after this and they'll murder you and your little pet." :3**

*** I mean that Usami must have cuddled it a lot. Not anything nasty! Just clearing that up.**

**-/- **

_A Last Word:_

_Well, I plan to work out Lost in You, so please don't hate mail me! If anything, send me virtual hugs because this has made me very, very depressed. And maybe if you still crave that happier ending, check Lost In You in about a month and hopefully I will have forced myself to work on it. If not, feel free to yell at me in a message. :)_

_But also I want to say I'm very thankful to everyone. Without your encouragement the story probably would have ended with Iris back in Shadow of the Day. And I'm very happy to have entertained you all thus far. (Please, don't leave me! Lol) And that, a few chapters ago in this one, I realized Romantica was my favorite pairing. Beforehand I was an uber Egoist person. But, somehow doing these 3 stories, I began to love Misaki and Akihiko very much. And, for that, I have you all to thank. (Silly isn't it? All well, I love you all anyway.)_


End file.
